06 May 2012

If I wrote out my thoughts exactly as they appeared in my mind I think I would overwhelm every reader.  Free Association can be desribed as "a spontaneous, logically unconstrained and undirected association of ideas, emotions, and feelings."  I think its very therapeutic to use this technique, which is basically just a spewing of thoughts out of whichever linguistic tool you use for communication (i.e. your mouth, pen, pencil, computer keyboard, etc.).  Its nice to just get all of those ideas, thoughts, words, and images out.. straight out and into the world. So here it goes:

3 more minutes until I go to bed, or atleast until the deadline I set for bed, but will I really meet it? Probably not. I wish i could focus more on how to form my sentences but the distractions of being alive keep arriving at my mind's door; the fact that the shoulder I'm leaning on still hurts from pushups, and now I can smell cigarette smoke. Which for me, is a distraction, because I think I am slightly addicted via second-hand smoke and my love for strawberry flavored cigars. 
(15 Minutes Later)
I'm back, got slightly distracted again, of course, but no matter... I  am barely able to feel my hands anymore, which is hard because I need them to associate freely, unless I change my mind and decide to use my mouth.  But I don't like this idea.  I look at the words I type as I use my periphial vision to simeltaneously focus on my sister drinking out of a water-filled gaterade bottle behind the computer.  She tilts her head back as she downs at least 6 full gulps, which I can only make out by her sillouhette gleaming with a black outline against the porch light and contrasting night sky.
She gets up goes inside. I ignore my friend Abby as she talks over my typing, and I surprise myself with my multi-tasking skills.

"I love how of everything we wrote on our "TO-DO BEFORE COLLEGE ENDS" list, the only thing that was crossed off was "SHAVE PHANTOM"." -Abby

I picked up that line, at least... (It must have sent signal off in my brain, one with a red flag of significance). Why is this line significant to me? Because it made me laugh; it led to a small high off of life, a positive distraction so meaningful that it actually distracted me from my experiment on distraction via the use of free association.  So what did I learn from this free association therapy session?  That distractions are helpful to us; they provide us with a momentary escape from our inner world, the sometimes irritating focus on our own thoughts.  And we all know that we all need that escape sometimes.

So basically, people, free association is just a rant.. but a rant meant to release inner energy that can maybe help you learn more about yourself.  So there is my rant. Maybe I'll analyze it later, but for now I have to go to bed.. it's way past my 3 minute deadline and my free association/rant session distracted me enough to clear my mind. 

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